Mahmoud Owies's Recent LinkedIn Posts

let's test this theory. Give me 20% of your money. And I'll let you know if I end up being happy or not. I think this is very fair. Waiting...

Late for dot com era late for crypto late for gold  late for silver  late for nfts late for Instagram  late for YouTube  late for TikTok  just in time to comment on your posts with AI and make you super proud of how smart I sound.

Now that I have more than 20,000 followers/connections, I can be one of those guys who say: “Don’t chase vanity metrics… they’re meaningless.” Seriously… like, serious. Stop chasing them… I want to be the only one.

I wonder how many times I almost died today. I mean I don't have co workers. And I don't really meet many people. But you never know.

Dammit, LinkedIn.... Trust people more... you're embarrassing me in front of Reddit's wizards. Also, when I DM you a link... just click it... please. Sincerely, A very rich movie star or something.

How dare you relax, coworker? Don't you know that it's time to panic? Like, right now!! So, let's be anxious together. P.S. it was me, I'm the wise man.

Family, You look like family. You smell like family. You walk like family. You're so family, family.

Guys, remember, the customer is ALWAYS right. But this is only true if the customer is me. However, if the customer is you. Then, I'm sorry... but umm no. I hope this makes sense. bye.

Don't give up on people. Give them time. Give them multiple chances. Show them the way. You were once a beginner too. Unless you're me... then you were always awesome and you're allowed to just give up on people.

Let's just admit it... We're all sleep addicts. See you after my next nap. BYE!

The moment posting on LinkedIn became normal for me. Or was it the moment I created the account? Might be the moment I asked my crush to connect with me on LinkedIn? (pfft... i would never, right? you believe me, right?? this is just a joke, ok?) Or maybe my back is right, not everything is about LinkedIn... Also, I get it we're old, you don't have to hurt all the time to remind me of that.

We don’t need more angry people (mostly men) in power, screaming at each other and forcing the rest of us to feel powerless. We need balance. We need people who can give us hope, who can offer different perspectives. But the system is broken. And admitting that is the first step to fixing it. We can’t change it in a day. It’ll take time, but we can start with ourselves. We can start with our thoughts, with our narrative. We can take back control of what’s controllable and find our way back to happiness and peace.

Kids, avoid the news. Avoid everything that makes you feel helpless. That being said, take actions when you can to make the world a little bit better. Also, kids, I think "destroying" would've been better than "eating" but again... zero sanity left. k, bye, thx.

So let me get this straight... After 4+ years... The greatest achievement of AI is... AI Instagram models??!

Hey bro, you'll never succeed the way bro, you're doing it wrong bro, you're so lazy bro, buy my course, bro, commit, bro. Me:

Dear LinkedIn user, Just assume I'm super rich, super successful, earn 7 figures in 2 seconds, can hire you for your dream job, have 1m followers on LinkedIn and cooler platforms... and you have to follow me now or you know... be unsuccessful forever.

Ok, but is the right time like now? Or is it like in the next 3 minutes? Right time, when are you, mate? Just give me a signal or something. I've been waiting for like 47 minutes now.

I wake up and open LinkedIn  I'm so addicted... addicted to this thing  How can I go... go back to before  I'm so attached... attached to this den Even when I sleep I dream about it  creators are my life and I never doubt it  I don't know what all of this about  But I can't seem to find any different route Can I be cured?  cured from this curse  I'm not being rude  I want this to reverse Wanna talk about it  Call me to converse  Just take the shot  No time to rehearse Wanna buy something?  You can buy this course Is it a scam?  Well duh yes of course  My business took off after watching a horse  Giving birth  to another horse This is the best This is just a fluke No time for rest  lots of time to puke Reddit is watching  They get to decide  who's here is a lunatic  so just enjoy the ride You can't be weird  unless you say you're weird  Otherwise this will be like so so weird  Is this a beard?  This is what I feared  you showed your face  and no one really cheered Is this my fault?  Was this all a mistake  I'm in the vault  Doing what it takes  Getting a job? Realizing it's all fake Getting a lead?  retiring by the lake. Just nod your head  You'll be happy to agree A new cage  who wants to be free? Why are you waiting? Go reserve your spot  and can you please prove you're not a bot? We're all so smart  cause this is LinkedIn  go play your part and we might let you win  A vicious cycle  one that never ends  How can we live without cold DMs I woke up and opened LinkedIn You can't see it but I have a huge grin  Take a deep breath and count back from ten  Enjoy the freaking chaos and pretend your so zen.

Me: I'll stay up all night!!! I'm gonna live my LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Egypt: Um, yeah... about that... so the world is on fire, we have a big energy crisis so we close everything at 9 PM. Me: What???????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Egypt: Dude, stop pretending... you want to stay on your couch and binge-watch 90s shows all night anyway. Me: Shhhhhhhhh, you're embarrassing me in front of the cool people of LinkedIn. Egypt: Cool people on LinkedIn? Hahaha, see? you really need to sleep early. Me: Hahahahaha you're right, this one is on me.

If I weren't famous on Link... ugh, who am I kidding??? I'm not even famous on LinkedIn. I'm just sorta known in certain circles.

Any minute now. Or maybe this minute. Ok, it has to be this one. So so so so soon. I can almost feel it.

Always have a backup plan! This is why I always add a joke to my posts, it makes people think: "oh, he's just an idiot." and leave me alone.

LinkedIn selfies a.k.a. the most "adult" pictures ever. ​So come on, everyone, it’s time to join the movement. ​Pretend to be working and take a photo of yourself. ​Go to a conference that has nothing to do with your industry... and take pictures!!! ​Take a car selfie... because... come on. It’s cool. ​Just be an adult... take a selfie. This post is not sponsored by FridaySelfie. Also, I love seeing pictures on LinkedIn!! ​P.S. This is technically not a meme... but I'm trying something.